


i like when you get mad

by aelisheva



Category: The Umbrella Academy (Comics), The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Five has OCD, Human Dolores (Umbrella Academy), Inktober 2019, Nonbinary Number Five | The Boy (Umbrella Academy), Other, Wheelchairs, both of them are like 14 or 15 here, he's an nb guy which is why this shipfic is listed in "other", human teen dolores uses a wheelchair, i'm cis so if this "other" rating is actually wrong then please tell me, just two teens in the postapocalypse, prompt from totallyevan!, well that's the play, will they band together? will they fall in love?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-10
Updated: 2019-10-10
Packaged: 2020-12-07 16:08:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20978672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aelisheva/pseuds/aelisheva
Summary: When it's just you and one other person living through the end of the world, you really have to rely on each other.For TotallyEvan's TUA Inktober prompt for Day 10, "Pills."





	i like when you get mad

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [45 years](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20303233) by [lilbirdie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilbirdie/pseuds/lilbirdie). 

> content warning for this fic: 1) five's ocd flares up when he comes in contact with iron rust that he's worried will give him tetanus, 2) at one point dolores almost passes out from extremely hot temperatures, 3) very brief discussions of ableism. everything turns out okay in the end, but still, please be warned.

Dolores was singing that weird song again. It was probably to take both of their minds off of Five's "incident" ten minutes ago. 

They were in an old abandoned supermarket and stocking up their supplies. They had just crossed into the frozen foods aisle, with its dull metal handles on the cracked glass doors to each freezer. Dolores was ripping out interesting photoshoots in an issue of _Vogue_ ("It's not stealing if no one's alive to catch me."). Five was picking at a scab on his arm ("Well, it's something to do. And it's actually legal."). Suddenly, they crossed by a freezer handle with a huge brown clump of rust on it. Dolores kept coasting forward in her wheelchair, but Five stopped in his tracks.

"Shit," he breathed out. "Shit shit shit."

Dolores pivoted around to face him. "What?" she asked directly.

He whipped back around to the freezer door he'd just passed. "That freezer door. There's so much rust on it, and I walked by it with an opened scab, and now I'm probably going to get tetanus on top of whatever else this --"

_"Five._ Five. Do you know if there's a bathroom in here?"

"What?"

"I'll take you over there to wash your arm."

He walked back up to her. "Why?"

"Why not?"

He blinked, his father's usual beratement flooding his mind. "Because I'm probably just having an episode? Because I'm probably fine? If I was actually taking my pills, I wouldn't even be thinking like this right now. You know, since all the pharmacists are _dead."_

She shrugged. "This'll still make you feel a lot calmer."

Five shook his head. "Yeah. Yeah, that's -- you're right. How did you realize that?"

"My ex-girlfriend Molly had OCD, too," Dolores said, and Five suddenly felt a pang. Was it jealousy? Why would it be jealousy? They were _exes._

After Five came out of the bathroom, he peeked over at the magazine article Dolores was reading. "Is that that Billie Eilish person you're always talking about?"

Dolores blushed. "Yeah, yeah. I know it makes me an e-girl or a fake emo or whatever that I even listen to her, but --"

"I don't even know who she is or what any of that means," Five said bluntly. 

"Oh yeah. Early 2000s. I forgot," Dolores said. "But anyway, I still like her music and her sense of style..."

"You're prettier."

Dolores froze. "What did you say?"

"Nothing."

Surprisingly, _that_ was more awkward than the OCD thing. As they walked away from the frozen food aisle, the heat from outside started to seep in from the gaps and cracks in the building's roof. If it wasn't for the water bottles they always carried on them, Five would be panting on the floor and Dolores wouldn't be singing that weird "Bad Guy" song. But why was she switching up all of the words now?

"White shirt, white shirt white shirt white shirt....." Her voice was quavering now, all that came out of her mouth was babbling like that.

Five touched her hand and it was clammy. "Dolores," he started, "are you feeling alright in this heat?"

"No..." she half-joked.

Five rushed back to the ice aisle and teleported back a huge bag of ice cubes. (Luckily, there was no rust or cracks on the doors.) "Dolores," he started again, "I'm going to put some ice on your wrists and back and head. Is that okay?"

She nodded, and he started to open the bag. "Sounds like you just want an excuse to hold my hand." She slowly winked.

"No," Five only half-lied, "I'm trying to save your life, asshole."

"Whatever, asshole."

After using up half the bag and drinking some more bottles of water, Dolores was back to her usual self. That night, they both lay down on the floor of the international aisle, staring up at the starry sky through the cracks of the roof.

Dolores picked at her jacket. "Hey Five? Thanks again for, um, not letting me die from heat stroke or whatever."

"Well, it was the least I could do."

"Yeah but...we're the only two people left. You're basically _stuck_ with me. If you wanted to get rid of me..." Her voice shook. "I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm freaking out --"

"Dolores." Five turned to her. "I would_ never_ let you die, even if I actually did hate you."

"Which you do," she muttered.

"Bullshit." Tentatively, he put a hand on her shoulder. "I'm really glad I found you. I really like spending time with you and exploring with you. And I'm not just saying that because you're the only other person around. This isn't Stockholm Syndrome or anything," he rambled. "Even if we were back in the normal world --"

"Fuck it." Dolores grabbed the lapels of his jacket and kissed him on the mouth. Five froze at first, but then slowly put his other hand on her other shoulder. The floor under them felt nice and cool, despite the postapocalyptic heat outside.

**Author's Note:**

> title is from "bad guy" by billie eilish. duh.
> 
> human teen!dolores being a billie fan was inspired by "45 years" by lilbirdie -- check it out, it's so awesome!!
> 
> btw if you want to know what this dolores looks like, please see seven-misfits on tumblr for an AMAZING design of her <33
> 
> for totallyevan's day 10 inktober prompt "pills." this is probably the only inktober fic i'll have time to do but it was v fun to write! hope you enjoy!! if you do, please comment below and/or yell at me abt it on my tumblr @ dumpsterbagel !


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